M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Old’ gets old very fast (2025)

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- I’m old enough to remember when M. Night Shyamalan was hailed as the next Alfred Hitchcock. Of course, it didn’t work out that way. Critical and box office hits like “The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable” and “Signs” were followed by a series of spectacular misfires. (“Lady in the Water,” anyone?) The release of “Split” in 2016 changed the narrative, albeit briefly.

The writer-director’s latest thriller, “Old,” now playing in theaters, is another reminder of his unrealized potential and a return to his worst impulses. Want to feel old? How about “The Sixth Sense” came out in 1999.

“Old” is a lot like that office meeting that could’ve been an email in that you realize early on the movie could’ve easily been an episode of “Fantasy Island.” The only thing missing from the setup is Mr. Rourke. Guy (Gael García Bernal) and Prisca (Vicky Krieps) arrive at a fancy resort on a tropical island with their children, 11-year-old Maddox (Alex Swinton) and 6-year-old Trent (Nolan River), for one last family vacation before having to tell the kids she has a tumor and their marriage is over.

The first item on their itinerary: a trip arranged by the resort’s manager to a super-secret beach. They’re joined by Charles (Rufus Sewell), a doctor showing early signs of cognitive impairment, his Instagram wife Chrystal (Abbey Lee), their daughter and his mother; Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird), a therapist with epilepsy, and her husband Jarin (Ken Leung); and Mid-Sized Sedan (Aaron Pierre), a rapper with a blood clot disease. Each group includes at least one sick person.

It’s not long before strange things start to happen and they realize there’s a good reason the beach isn’t in Fodor’s. A dead body washes up on shore and decomposes within minutes. Prisca’s tiny tumor has grown to the size of a melon. Most shocking: the three kids are now five years older.

“Something is going on with time on this beach,” Jarin says around the 45-minute mark.

Well, duh!

Turns out, everybody on the beach is aging about two years every hour, though the rate seems to vary from person to person. Some of the adults are starting to show wrinkles, others aren’t.

“It’s the first time they wish they were Black,” quips Mid-Sized Sedan in a truly cringeworthy moment.

The movie asks, what would you do if you were stranded on a cursed beach that makes you age rapidly? You’d freak out a little bit at first and then try to escape. If you’re a kid who suddenly becomes a teen, you also have sex. If you’re an adult, you try to stave off death. Rinse and repeat.

Indeed, “Old” gets old real quick.

Still, the mystery behind what’s causing them to age at an accelerated pace and why the resort sent them there is at least interesting. If Shyamalan is the master of anything, it’s the twist ending. Unfortunately, whatever currency the director invested in that mystery is wasted. The film is light on details, heavy in one-dimensional characters and the director’s signature goofy dialogue.

“My thoughts have more colors in them now,” 16-year-old Maddox (”Jojo Rabbit”'s Thomasin McKenzie) says, explaining how it feels to age five years within a day of stepping foot on the island. “Yesterday, I had a few colors and they were really strong. Now I have more and they’re quieter.”

Say what now?

Character development and snappy dialogue aren’t necessarily the hallmarks of a good horror movie. But any hopes you’d be scared out of your seat are dashed the moment you realize the killer here isn’t a chainsaw-wielding psychopath nor an alien invasion, but old age. Death by calcium deficiency is about as thrilling as it sounds. It’s also the moment when I started to wish I was two hours older and already knew the ending.

So, what does that make “Old”? If it’s a supernatural horror thriller, it falls short on all three counts. If it’s a cautionary tale about not wasting any of the time we’re given and living life to the fullest, I missed it. If it’s a metaphor for the failures of the healthcare industry, I missed that, too. Instead, “Old” hits a lot like Shyamalan’s previous work: a half-baked mystery in search of a movie.

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M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Old’ gets old very fast (2025)

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